My childhood friends and I have celebrated a milestone birthday this year, leading many of us to reflect on age. As I have been paying more attention, I have heard comments of disbelief, complaints of aching body parts, stories of new adventures, or narrowing of experiences, often independent of actual health factors. It has made me wonder what accounts for these differences in attitudes and perceptions about aging and why two people of the same age may seem many years apart.
When I want to know something, I turn to the research, and in doing so, I came across a very interesting finding: Our subjective experience of age, that is, how young or old we experience ourselves to be, may have an impact on mental and physical health, and even longevity. For example, one study found that those who reported feeling younger than their actual age were more likely to be alive eight years later than those who reported feeling their actual age or older.
Of course, there may be physical changes taking place that account for these differences in perceptions of age, but that does not likely tell the whole story. Maybe perceiving ourselves as younger than our actual ages leads us to be more physically active, which can promote good health. Perhaps it makes us more oriented toward the future and therefore make better food choices because we expect to be around for a long while. Or maybe that future orientation leads us to make choices to engage more in the world and with others which then helps us both mentally and physically.
This is not about wishing we were younger. In fact, studies have demonstrated wanting to be younger is associated with less life satisfaction and poorer physical functioning over time. I am instead suggesting we find ways to help ourselves experience ourselves as younger. Here are some suggestions about how we can do that:
- Try something new. Engaging in challenging or novel activities helps keep your mind sharp. Choose something meaningful to you. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to play the piano or speak Italian.
- Engage in physical activity, which can contribute to flexibility, balance, emotional well-being, good health, and good feelings about appearing capable and fit.
- Maintain social connections. Loneliness is a key predictor of aging. Join a club or find a Meet Up. Choose to be around people who inspire and encourage you.
- Spend time outdoors. There are numerous benefits of sunlight and communing with nature.
- Be open-minded about what it means to get older. Maybe it means being happier, wiser, less self-conscious, or more tolerant.
- Tune out negative self-talk such as, “I’m too old to….”
- Find what makes you happy and do more of it, whether it’s watching movies, gardening, cycling, or anything else.
- Spend time with children as you play and learn together.
- Find time to travel. Venture out of your normal routine and go somewhere new.
- Practice mindfulness and keep the focus on the present instead of past regrets or worries about a future decline.
- Find a purpose. Do something that matters to you—it can be work, volunteering, caring for others or animals, or saving the planet.
As the saying goes, you’re only as old as you feel!
Dr. Jayne Schachter is a clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience in working with children, adolescents, adults, and families. She provides cognitive-behavioral treatment through individual psychotherapy, parent counseling, and group therapy. Her areas of expertise include (but are not limited to) the evaluation and treatment of anxiety disorders, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, behavior problems, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, effects of divorce, toileting issues, gender identity concerns, and coping with medical illness.
