I don’t know about you, but I used to enjoy going out. I looked forward to having a Saturday night dinner with my husband and friends, a day of soccer games and plans with my teenagers, and vacations (remember vacations?). I thought I would miss it all when March turned into April, then December arrived, but the longing for the old days never set in. As I got used to life slowing down, I appreciated this new, more leisurely pace. My family eats dinner together every night. I take the dog for long walks. I read, watch TV, bake, and even exercise.
For some, the thought of going out for a whole day has become overwhelming, and for those with a preexisting diagnosis of Social Anxiety Disorder, it has been even worse. Because there has been less opportunity to practice social skills throughout COVID-19, their social anxiety has worsened. It will be a significant challenge for them to get back to a more social way of life. It may even be a bit of a challenge for the rest of us.
Therefore, I have been having continuous discussions about social skills with children and adolescents in my practice. Some are trying desperately to find ways to socialize that do not feel overwhelming and can be done safely and responsibly. Here are a few simple techniques for children, adolescents, and adults to take baby steps back into the world and warm up their social skills muscles.
- Go for a walk with a friend – The walk doesn’t have to be long or with a big group of people. Start by talking about lighter topics (books, recipes, Netflix binges), moving to heavier ones only when you feel ready.
- Have a “safe” playdate – Find a way to see a friend that feels “safe.” You can set up chairs or towels outside that are six-feet apart so you can talk and relax.
- Talk to your neighbor – Your neighbor may be feeling socially awkward as well. Start a conversation, ask a question, or just wave.
- Set up a Zoom date – For your children, ask them who they would like to invite to a virtual playdate. Help them choose an activity such as a game, a scavenger hunt, or a craft they can do together online. For adolescents and adults, this can just be a time you set aside to talk face-to-face.
- Talk to the cashier – It may feel challenging to do this in a mask, but even a smile and a brief conversation are worth it for the socialization practice.
- Practice at home – Having conversations with your loved ones at home is good practice for when you are out of the house with friends or family. If this seems too easy, you can create role plays in which you practice maintaining eye contact, starting a dialogue, and keeping it going with others.
It is important to remember that socializing is a skill. If we don’t use it as much as we used to, we become a little rusty. While I am happy to report that our social skills can return, I hope that this new slower way of life stays for as long as possible!
Dr. Carly Orenstein is a clinical psychologist who practices cognitive-behavior therapy with children, adolescents and adults through individual, family and group therapy. Her specialties include (but are not limited to): Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), anxiety disorders, depression, divorce, selective mutism, bipolar disorder, anger and stress management, relationship issues, autism spectrum disorders, Tourette’s syndrome, behavioral disorders, and parenting issues.
